Poking One Berry Into Another Doesn't Make A New Berry
Berry giant Driscoll's Instagrammed their newest berry product to great fanfare. Is it a new berry though? The fruit-based snack, called (and hashtagged) #Braspberries, appear to be nothing more than blueberries poked into raspberries. While fans of compulsively satisfying Tumblr Things Fitting Perfectly Into Other Things may rejoice, others are wondering "can't I stuff my own damn raspberries?"
A post shared by Driscoll's (@driscollsberry) on
Commenters weighed in with practical insight, like "in addition to paper towels, I'm also gonna say that I could never be in a relationship with someone who would buy these," "what kind of person follows a berry brand on IG?" and of course, "Ummm this looks like they just stuck a blueberry in a raspberry." And so can you!
Another good point brought up: Are the berries pre-washed before being stuffed into one another? Washing significantly shortens berries' fresh lifespan (while not washing can significantly shorten a human's regular lifespan). We'd hate to get a $7 pint of 20 stuffed raspberries home only to have them leak sticky juice all over the fridge and immediately become inedible.
What happens to all the non-conforming raspberries and blueberries, and the mushy screw-ups? Are they released to live on a farm upstate, or is it straight to the blender? Are they breeding raspberries specially to take blueberries into their hollows in this manner? Is anyone else very freaked out by this season of The Handmaid's Tale, or is this produce-based development probably unrelated?
And finally and perhaps most perplexing: Why on earth is Justin Timberlake tagged in the post? We were led to believe he was exploring a foraging-based lifestyle so...oh. Got it.