After watching Oprah Winfrey accept the Cecil B. DeMille Award for outstanding contributions to the world of entertainment during Sunday’s Golden Globes ceremony, I found myself wondering: How would President Oprah impact the food scene? It turns out I wasn’t alone: mere hours after the awards show concluded, the New York Times and other major publications included the phrase “President Oprah” in morning headlines. Could this all but confirm a run in 2020?
Clad in a black gown representing solidarity with the #Metoo movement and most likely smelling like rosewater and warm laundry, Winfrey railed against corruption, injustice and inequality with the kind of confident eloquence and powerful authority that makes you envision the words “Madam President” on a flashing marquee. If you haven’t watched her show-stealing acceptance speech, it’s nine minutes very well-spent:
Winfrey does in fact seem primed as a contender for president in the 2020 election, particularly if one of the hurdles to clear is, as has been suggested, simply being more famous and influential than the current deal-in-chief. And with just 1028 short, easy-to-live-through days to go*, here are 10 things we can envision happening in the food world during the Winfrey Administration. Oh dang, that feels good to say.
*The author wept through this sentence
The Garden State
Winfrey loves gardening. She loves it. She looooooves iiiiiit! In addition to providing healthy, nutritious produce for her home kitchen, her garden is also a good source of low-impact exercise, fresh air and killer social media fodder seen by, oh, 41.2 million followers. It wouldn’t surprise us if she got up at the crack of dawn the day after her inauguration and started pulling weeds from the White House vegetable plot built by her dear friend Michelle Obama. Gardening has made a huge resurgence with the homesteading and farm-to-table movements, so in a Winfrey presidency, it would only be a matter of time before you started hearing things like “bro, do you even hoe?”
First Husb…Uh, Longtime Partner Steadman Graham
Winfrey’s partner of three decades, Steadman Graham, has heartily encouraged a presidential run since the idea first floated gracefully onto the scene. Graham is the author of more than a dozen non-fiction and self-help books, including Build Your Own Life Brand and You Can Make It Happen. Expect food Instagrammers, influencers, movers and shakers to complete their gradual takeover of your social media feeds, boosted by the abundant wisdom of the man Winfrey calls her own.
Bread Is Back, Baby
Winfrey famously loves bread, and though she adheres to Weight Watchers, she still eats the good stuff every day. When bread is as high-quality, filling and nutritious as the homemade sourdough she enjoys, there’s no reason to eschew it. Expect a resurgence in the artisanal sandwich movement, and a nation that slowly turns its back on the processed supermarket bread that’s sapping the life out of you.
A Return To Tea Time
Winfrey’s also big on tea, and has sought to restore this antioxidant-packed, low or no-calorie refreshment to its former glory. She regularly takes a full-stop break to enjoy tea in a lovely teacup with a saucer (not bougie — eBay for around $10), which provides a bit of ceremony, making the experience more significant, satisfying and restorative.
President Winfrey’s Favorite Things
You think Oprah’s not going to have time to discover new favorite things? Blast from the future: That’s how the great salt water taffy craze of 2022 takes over Japan. In addition to totally crushing her official duties, President Winfrey will also legitimize our nation’s desire for self-care, take the stress out of gift-shopping and boost the crap out of the economy while doing so. She’s even recommended our favorite stronghold of cured meats in the world — Portland’s Olympia Provisions. We have so much in common!
Weight Watchers > Everything Else
Nobody knows how many diet-based books are published like we do — we’ve been drowning in a sea of hot-off-the-press “guides to optimal health” since Day 1. The thing is, Weight Watchers isn’t a diet, per se. That’s why Winfrey, who has aired her challenges with long-term weight loss, eats bread. It’s all about calories in, calories out. Since our current president didn’t feel the need to divest from his business holdings, it shouldn’t be a problem that she owns a 10 percent share in the international corporation. We envision Winfrey wielding this great influence to reduce obesity-related health issues in America…then the world. Could DJ Khaled becoming a spokesperson portend a spot in President Oprah’s administration? We hope so.
The Presidential Cookbook
Winfrey would be the first American president to have penned a culinary best-seller. Winfrey’s cookbook, Food, Health and Happiness, just celebrated one year on the shelves, and boasts mainly 5-star reviews that include words like “love,” “beautiful,” “emotional,” and “inspiring.” It includes Weight Watchers point values, of course, but focuses almost entirely on combining natural flavors together in innovative ways alongside heartfelt anecdotes and other helpful material. It wouldn’t surprise us one bit if Winfrey co-opted the traditional First Lady role of planning health-forward White House menus and taking an active part in USDA operations. And, you know, staving off thermonuclear war and whatnot. But also, school lunch.
Good Beer Returns To Washington D.C.
We’re huge fans of Alaska Brewing Company’s wide portfolio of incredible brews. And look at that, so does Winfrey! And while perhaps this is her second white ale (see video) the thought of another president who sips frosty craft beers, praising the valiant efforts of small breweries and wordlessly damning corporate entities, is making us thirsty for change.