Take a peek inside the Food Republic HQ in Midtown Manhattan, where we just performed a beautiful impromptu one-act play that shows deep down, food editors are just like anyone sitting in a meeting: distracted, confused, slightly hungry and eager to move on to the next topic so as to edge ever closer to lunchtime. We interspersed some of the slower moments with hard-hitting lobster knowledge for you action junkies. And now without further ado…
The Case of the Unknown Lobsters
Cast (in order of appearance):
Jess, Senior Editor
Richard, Editoral Director
George, Assistant Contributing Editor
Eva, Senior Marketing Director
Chris, Contributing Editor
Matt, Contributing Editor
INT. FOOD WEBSITE CONFERENCE ROOM, DAY
Five editors, a marketing director and an illustrator sit around a table, basically just interrupting each other about the tomatoes yet to be in season.
A sudden awkward pause.
We have live lobsters coming today.
I don’t know.
Where are they coming from?
How many are there?
What are we going to do with them?
I’m going to take one.
And do what?
Kill it. Cook it. Eat it.
Related: Why Do Lobsters Turn Red When You Cook Them?
I was going to go to that thing after work, but now I'm going home to kill these lobsters.
You’re going to eat four lobsters?
No, just one.
Related: (Infographic) How To Eat A Lobster
Who else is taking one?
I’ll take one. You want one?
Chris said he wants one.
I’m good actually, I don't want to smell like lobster on the way home.
Related: Testing The Lobster, Passionfruit And Rye Bread Perfumes So You Don't Have To
But you just said you wanted one! You were all about it.
Okay, okay, I’ll take one. But that's how you get cats following you.
When are they arriving?
Related: How To Store Live Lobsters Before The Delicious End Result
OK, so tomatoes.
They never did crack that case. In next week's installation, the team feverishly digs one of their own out of the avalanche of cookbooks that finally collapsed their bookshelves. Will the unfortunate editor remain entombed in Caribbean potluck recipes forever? Who won the pool on how long the bookshelves would stay up? You'll have to tune in to find out.
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