How To Hold A Burger Without It Falling Apart (We're Not Joking)

Picture it: You've got your elbows on the table, a juicy all-American cheeseburger gripped in both hands, and you take your first bite. You're in flavor heaven, until you realize all your toppings and condiments spilled out the back — and onto your shirt and pants. Dang it. Is there some way to hold your burger without it falling apart, or everything falling out? You can try actually eating it upside down; the top part of the bun is thicker, after all. Try splaying your fingers as widely as possible, too, with three on top and two on bottom.

Food Republic also had the chance to pick the brain of Abe Kamarck, founder and CEO at True Made Foods (where they are "Bringing BBQ Back to its Roots," with sugar-free condiments and spice rubs). He told us, "The best solution is to use the melted cheese to hold the toppings and fillings in place."

If you use melted cheese like a glue, Karmarck instructed, "add condiments, like True Made Foods Ketchup and Mustard, to the buns, not to the burger," so the condiments will bleed into the bread, becoming part of the more textured surface. This means they won't "create a slippery, sliding surface for the other toppings to fall off from," he advised.

"As you're melting the cheese on the burger," noted Kamarck, "add the toppings, [like] onions and pickles," but not tomato and lettuce, which should stay cool. He continued, "You can also cook onions into the burger," which helps keep everything together.

Using cheese as a bonding agent is just one trick that Abe Kamarck has up his sleeve. "For bun advice," he said, "the bun should be smaller — less thick — than the patty." Kamarck hates large, thick buns because "they are always bland and kill or mask the flavor of the burger," and they also make the burger harder to eat. Restaurants can pile their burgers mile-high and top them off with big, dense buns, but is that really an enjoyable bite for the everyday diner (even if burgers do taste better when dining out)?

"Use a thin bun that can soak up most of the juices and meld well with the melted cheese," he instructed. "If you use a better bun like sourdough or ciabatta (highly recommend), carve them out some, to make sure the bread is not too thick." This concave space not only creates room for the burger and the toppings, but it helps the top of the bun fit against the bottom part better, so you can keep the two sides sealed together better when you take your bites. You might even pass Anthony Bourdain's one-hand rule for eating burgers.