Never Combine These Drinks With Tequila

There are some mixers you ostensibly should not combine with tequila. Whether mixed drink or cocktail, at least with the good ones worth splurging for, a drink is all about balancing the flavors of the spirit and the mixer. Sometimes, the conception of a beverage can get muddled by too many competing flavors, with off-putting results.

It's easy to get in your head about what to add or not to add; the simplest analogy for making great drinks is to think of each component as part of a meal. Your spirit is the protein; liqueur, citrus, or soda is your sauce or side dish, and bitters should be treated like your seasonings. You wouldn't prepare fresh fish tacos only to serve them over mashed potatoes. Not that there's anything wrong with mashed potatoes, but the rich creaminess in the potatoes doesn't exactly pair well with the tacos.

Making mixed drinks with spirits works the same way. You want to embrace the light, fresh notes of cactus, grass, and bright citrus in blanco tequilas, or the subtle baking spices in an aged reposado tequila with the right mixer. Just make sure you know which tequila to buy and which to avoid. Move over "What Not To Wear;" this is what not to mix ... with tequila. 

Regardless of alcohol type, you technically shouldn't be mixing any spirit with energy drinks. The large amounts of caffeine counteract the response your body would normally have when metabolizing alcohol. This masking of effects can lead to drinking more and, in turn, increases the adverse effects of the higher consumption of alcohol.

You might immediately wonder about why people drink espresso martinis then. Most espresso martinis use a single shot's worth (one ounce), which would only contain about 63 milligrams of caffeine. Comparatively, popular energy drinks like Red Bull contain 80 milligrams of caffeine (while competitors like Monster have 160 milligrams) as well as added energy boosters like taurine and an assortment of B vitamins that also mask the effects of alcohol. It's the combination of these three components that make energy drinks a bad choice for mixers — whether that's with tequila or anything else.

Not all citrus and spirits play well together. Lime may be tequila's best friend, but lemon is its worst enemy. Less like the dance-off in "She's All That" and more like one of Cady's animal world fantasies in "Mean Girls." For all your tequila-based drinks use a limeade or some lime juice for bursts of citrus that will play off the fresh notes in the tequila. The secret to the lime over lemon pairing comes down to the types of acid in each citrus, and how they affect your palate. 

Lemon juice is pretty much all citric acid — whereas lime juice contains both citric and malic acid. Citric acid hits your tongue sharp and fast, but malic acid in lime juice affects the middle of your palate and lingers, which is great for complementing the lengthy mouthfeel of tequila. Better to save lemon juice and lemonade for other spirits like vodka, gin, or whisky where its acidity better complements the base flavors of those spirits.

A thought bounced around in the bartending sphere is dark liquor, dark soda, and vice versa for light spirits. Sure, if you swear by a bantaga (tequila, cola, lime), then go for it — but otherwise, stick with mixing tequila with light sodas like Sprite, Squirt, or Fresca. The intense sweetness and caramel flavors in your favorite colas and root beers will overpower the more delicate notes in the tequila, leading to an astringent overall taste. 

Dark sodas are better used with darker spirits like bourbon that have been through a specific aging process that imparts similar baking spices and caramel notes. If you want to drink a lighter spirit with cola go for a Cuba Libre: rum, cola, lime juice — a white rum will give you a pleasantly tart drink while an aged rum will embrace the spiced notes of the cola.

This really should go without saying, but milk. Do not mix tequila with plain milk, or any alcohol with unadulterated milk for that matter. And before someone tries to argue the existence of white Russians and old-school brandy Alexanders for chocolate lovers, those are made with cream, not milk — that difference (the amount of emulsifying fat) is important. Plus those two drinks feature a scant amount of said cream. 

Physics aside, the subtle flavor doesn't stand up well when paired with the infamous and lengthy flavors of tequila leading to a watery, cloudy mixture with clashing tastes. Other popular drinks, like milk punches, often feature ice cream or cream — and if you do find a traditional winter milk punch recipe (or, say, Benjamin Franklin's own milk punch recipe) using whole milk, you'll have to clarify the dairy and strain out the curds. Mixing tequila with straight milk would create potentially the worst iteration of bubble guts meets the spins. Curdle yourself at your own risk.