Apple Juice Brands Ranked From Worst To Best

There's nothing more American than harvesting the country's number one fruit, smashing it to pieces, and then drinking the juice of 25 apples in a single gallon jug without batting an eye. But if you're going to partake in the nectar of the gods — without cranking the press yourself — you've gotta nail down the best apple juice brand on the shelves.

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like apple juice leans in pretty hard on the nostalgia of simpler days. Perhaps it's because of the implied old-timey-ness of apple juice production, or it's because I rarely drink apple juice anymore (and if I do, it's a Washington apple cocktail — or it's just a straight apple pie), but this pure, apple-y liquid stuff seems primed for the kids' table. (Am I actually getting buzzed on the natural sugars in fruit?) Regardless, it's time to relentlessly judge these store-bought brands and rank them worst to best. From house signature labels to stalwarts of the industry — and a few outsiders that evoke warm fuzzies in the eco-friendly department — apple juice is a winner for kids, and kids at heart. But there can only be one apple juice at the top of the heap. Bottoms up — and cheers to "The Apple Dumpling Gang." Wait, they had nothing to do with apples. If you know, you know ...

I'm not exactly confident that what I'm smelling is, in fact, apple juice when I open this jug. But if nothing else, Signature Select 100% Apple Juice serves up a whole lotta juice for the same price as some of the smaller containers on this list. Do I want to drink 96 ounces of Signature Select apple juice? Probably not. But that's mostly because I'm not sure it tastes like apple juice.

Whatever science goes into 100% of something tasting 0% like itself, please pass this onto the cooked carrots I hated as a kid. Call me old fashioned, but I still think that apple juice should taste like, y'know, apples. Update: I think I actively drank 95 ounces of this bottle, just willing it to turn into apple juice. (What is this drink? I need to know.) I'm beginning to think the "added ingredient" labeling on the front of the bottle involves some kind of disappearing flavor ink.

Obvious caveat: This drink was designed for children with taste buds that have barely graduated from pureed peas and banana cereal puffs. But, that said, the apple juice wars take no prisoners. Honest Kids Organic Appley Ever After Juice Drink destroys on the wordplay, but barely squeaks past last place with its faintly-hued, watered-down beverage offering.

This box features 42% juice, but its first ingredient actually appears to be exactly what it tastes like: filtered water. I can see how this ephemerally apple-flavored blend might make for a cute #Baby'sFirstAppleJuice social media post, but I think I'd have to boil down a few hundred boxes of this stuff to create a concentration even remotely resembling an apple juice that an adult would ever want to drink. Props for the non-GMO, USDA organic, gluten free certifications — but next time, Honest brand, don't forget the apples in your apple juice.

Admittedly, the smiling, soccer-playing apple character on the front of the Mott's 100% Apple Juice box doesn't seem like it's exactly aimed at trying to reel in my demo. But that isn't stopping me from sampling the wares — and confirming that this slight improvement in flavor over the Honest Kids version is worth every lip-numbing sip out of this tiny as heck straw.

I actually squeezed out the contents like I was delicately milking a cow, just to see what the actual juice looked like. While it was on par with the other kid-friendly brands on this list in barely-there color, it featured a cloudiness that made it feel a little more authentically apple-y. This 6.75-ounce box features 1 ½ servings of fruit, per USDA guidelines, and tastes enough like apples to quench that apple juice craving on the spot. (Hot tip: The big bottle doesn't have a soccer player on it — for any big kids who still want to indulge, but without the grass-stained shin guards.)

Not gonna lie, this juice is so light in color, I might mistake it for a glass of water if it were just sitting alone on the counter. But I'm not counting that against Whole Foods 365 100% Organic Apple Juice because it's refreshingly mild in flavor while still tasting like apples — and not hitting anyone over the head on sweetness.

The box is also designed so anyone could drink from it without having to pretend they jacked it from their kid's lunch. As an added bonus, if you're the kind of person who's into certified organic, non-GMO, and responsibly sourced packaging as designated by the Forest Stewardship Council, the 365 apple juice brand was made for you. Now, whether you can still pop that straw in there in one shot like you used to do in elementary school, is another thing entirely. ("By the power of Greyskull" — I mean, vitamin C!)

Welcome to the United Nations of apple juice. According to its label, this tiny bottle of Minute Maid 100% Apple Juice features the concentrate of apples from the United States, Argentina, Chile, China, Turkey, Hungary, Austria, Poland, and Italy. The gang's all here. And while I wouldn't normally look to a brand owned by a soda company for the purest drinkable fruit (Full disclosure: Coca-Cola also owns Honest Kids), at least it tastes like apples.

I'm not sure which country to thank, but the apple flavor here is on point. It's not too sharp, it's (surprisingly) not too sweet, and it's not at all too syrupy. Where it kind of loses some points is in personality. It's just ... okay. Like the "OMG, I'm dying for some apple juice and all I can see is this Coca-Cola vending machine with Minute Maid apple juice in it — I hope it's good!" kind of decent. It'll do. But you can do better.

I grew up on family-sized cans of Juicy Juice, where you punch out two triangular holes into the top, and pour with abandon all over the counter. (Back then, poke-top straw technology had not yet hit the mainstream.) While my mom was the unofficial pioneer of cutting the sweetness (and the grocery budget) by watering down our juice with half-water, I'm guessing Juicy Juice has also reformulated its recipe over the decades since I last housed a can. But even so, Juicy Juice 100% Apple Juice seems exactly like I remember it: sweet, Michelob-yellow, apple-licious heaven.

It's like you can taste that this 6.75-ounce juice box contains 100 calories, with 23 grams of that being sugar (from the fruit, no added stuff here). The texture is a little syrupy, with plenty of residue to coat your throat. (I say this having done some commercial and TV acting where I watched child actors slug back apple juice to soothe their vocal cords. Apple juice is surprisingly hydrating, so why not drink a brand that's not filled with added sugar?) As an adult, though, the thick coating would make it tough for me to keep this on regular rotation. (Add some whiskey to that apple juice, though, and now we're talking.)

Out of the 17,000 different character toppers screwed onto Good2Grow's children's juice line, I chose Piglet from "Winnie The Pooh"; first because he was on an apple juice (versus fruit punch), and second, because there's no more wholesome and apple-like-innocent character in the entire Disney universe (Sorry, "My Little Pony"). Luckily, Good2Grow apple juice tastes as storybook-pure as the little piggy himself.

The color is that of fine Champagne (I know, I know — this is for kids), with a light, buttery-smooth texture, and a gently crisp 100% apple flavor that seems to have sprung forth straight from the fruity springs of Appletown. No tartness pinching the insides of your cheeks here. Just a totally drinkable almost apple-"ish" juice with none of the syrupiness that apple juice sometimes lends. Would I give this to a small child? Yes. Would I also happily sip this off of Piglet's head like a grown-up adult? 1000% just did.

Not a lot needs to be said about a juice that's certified USDA organic, non-GMO, and priced much lower than some of the other — perhaps dynamic — brands on this list. If you've got apple juice drinkers in the house, this brand works overtime to serve up that fresh apple flavor, in a family-sized package, on a juice box budget.

O Organics won't blow anyone's minds, but it's a solid, middle-of-the-road kind of option for this list. Without stepping into cloyingly sweet — with none of the syrupy stuff — this flavor profile keeps it light and bouncy on the tongue. If you opened up a wiki on apple juice, this jug should appear as the main image, along with a picture of Johnny Appleseed who basically pioneered apple growing in America (I'm just now realizing his real name was John Chapman, 40 years later). I'm Lauren Applejuice and I approve this message.

I made a deal with myself that I wouldn't like this brand more than the others just because you can get a t-shirt with the purchase of four 64-ounce bottles of Langers U.S.A. Grown 100% Apple Juice (plus $1.99 shipping and handling). Resolute in my dedication to rank apple juice like my life depends on it (also 256 ounces is a l-o-t of apple juice), I can tell you — sans t-shirt offer — that this family brand pours up one solid AJ. (Why did this never catch on like OJ did for orange juice?)

If you typically go for fresh, crunchy apples that have a bit of bite, this sweet blend bats around at that flavor profile with just the tiniest hint of tartness, along with a walloping fruity kick. Every 8-ounce glass of this stuff is equal to one serving of fruit –so get them apples in while you can.

We've certainly come a long way since that "apple a day" doctor house-visit maxim. Now, we want to know about the people growing the apples, the region where the apples are growing, and if any of them are the Swiss Uttwiler Spätlauber variety. (It's a rare one, so probably not.) Tree Top 100% Apple Juice certainly leans into that grower-owned, famed apple region energy with a juice that tastes as sweet as the Northwest-raised fruit, still dewy from an early-morning harvest.

I feel like Tree Top was the original brand to make apple juice just juice again. This is purely speculation based on solid years of watching Saturday morning cartoons as a kid, but I swear it was doing it before it was cool. (The brand has been owned by its farmers since it launched in 1960.) It's made with U.S.-grown apples, it tastes like apples themselves — with just enough slick texture to ever so slightly coat the back of your throat — and with that 80% daily dose of vitamin C packed into a single serving, no doctor's gonna be coming 'round these parts.

Meet what I have decided to be the skin contact wine-equivalent of the apple juice world. If Lakewood Biodynamic Pure Apple Juice sounds like something that you'd find on the shelves of Whole Foods, you would be correct. And if you think the murky, slightly malty essence of organic apples somehow heals your aura, well ... TBD on that. What I do know is that this juice tastes like fresh-picked apples right off the tree.

So what the heck is biodynamic apple juice? It's the product of biodynamic farming, which is the fancy, mindful way of sustainably working with the land, plants, and animals in perfect harmony, in the most natural form possible. While this might sound like GOOP-y woo-woo, I can definitely taste a pure, kind of unadulterated apple flavor from this brand. What it lacks in crispy clean looks, it certainly makes up for in earthy, almost apple pie-like spices. (Is this what biodynamic synergy tastes like?) It's definitely one for the sophisticated apple juice aficionado in between infrared saunas and Fiji wellness retreats.

Pinkies out. North Coast Organic Honeycrisp Apple Juice hails from Sonoma County, California (the same place as the wine), and comes to you unfiltered, not from concentrate, and tasting of Golden State sunshine, coastal fog, and applesauce. I'm not kidding about any of that. (Well, okay, you can position your pinky as usual.)

Taste this veritable cornucopia of organic apples in their (almost) purest form — akin to a cider, with a dark and stormy look and a little bit of texture, contrasting the crystal clear gleam of most apple juice brands. It's crafted using solar power and Mother Nature, with an unwavering dedication to high quality apple production for more than 100 years. (I don't know what took them so long. You can totally make apple juice in no time at all.) You'll taste the sweet and tart flavors of Honeycrisp apples, with a viscosity you could almost chew (almost). Bet you $5 that you wish you had thought of pouring it into a stem glass — like this wine country-born apple juice clearly deserves.

Well, you gotta respect a brand that puts "gold medal" in its name, with a bottle shaped like an actual apple you can hold like the "Real Housewives of New York." (The design is so iconic, people resell the empties on eBay, for crying out loud.) This family-run brand has been essentially defining what apple juice tastes like in America for the last 160 years. Martinelli's Gold Medal 100% Pure Apple Juice is packed with flavor, with a signature style like no other offering on this list.

Here you'll be tasting zero concentrate — just the juice of 100% U.S.-grown apples from Watsonville, California. It's all fresh as a freakin' spring rain. The texture is like velvet, without feeling anything like maple syrup, while leaving nary a whispering glaze on your tongue. Is it the fact that I'm associating it with the sparkling ciders of my underaged youth — a wholesome, sentimental party for the yet unadulterated palate that will one day consider a tongue ring in college (never did it)? Either way, the branding is perfection, the taste is iconic, and I'd happily pop this top any day of the week. Martinelli's is an apple-escent triumph.

Between you and me, I'm no expert on apple juice. But I like to think I know a little about flavor — and what other people might like. I'm also a superfan of taste-testing monthly ice cream flavors, whiskeys, tequila flights (or tequila and apple juice pairings), and just about any other food or drink sampling that features variations on a theme. So, y'know, apple juice testing is definitely in my wheelhouse.

Still, even though all of these brands were technically apple juices, some were clearly crafted for differing tastes — for example, kid-friendly formulations are going to be different than those priced at a premium, and grown in orchards fertilized with the minerals of organic volcano lava. Still, if you love apple juice, there's one on this list for you. But promise me that if you try Signature Select, you come back here and tell me what the heck we both just drank.