Never Break One Course Etiquette Rule When Fine Dining

While rules for dining out have become more relaxed in recent years, some customs never go out of style — especially concerning fine dining. We probably all know to keep our napkins in our laps unless we get up from the table, and of course, the rule that dates back to the Medieval period: Don't put your elbows on the table. But that's just table manners, which are only one part of dining etiquette.

When it comes to fine dining, there are a lot of other little-known rules that you should follow, according to expert Nikesha Tannehill Tyson of The Swann School of Protocol in Shreveport, Louisiana, author of "Going Public." The most important rule to never break? Don't order a different number of courses than the rest of the table.

"In a fine dining setting, the experience is as much about harmony and shared enjoyment as it is about the food itself," explained Tannehill Tyson, who is a certified etiquette consultant and senior etiquette trainer. "Ordering a different number of courses than your dining companions can disrupt the flow of the meal and create an imbalance at the table. When one person finishes early or has nothing in front of them while others are still eating can lead to awkward moments. The person without food may feel out of place, while those still dining might feel rushed."

While you should endeavor to have balance with others and order the same number of courses, that doesn't mean you need to limit yourself. There are ways you can still enjoy a variety of foods or dishes. Similarly, if you know other diners are going to order more courses than you want, you can work around that too.

Following the lead at the table when it comes to ordering a meal does not mean you need to overindulge. If you notice that people are choosing an extra appetizer or salad course, and you're not all that hungry, find something that's not too filling like a salad, a smaller portion of soup, or half an order of pasta. Nikesha Tannehill Tyson noted that the goal is to make sure everyone has a plate in front of them at the same time.

"Aligning the number of courses ensures everyone progresses through the meal at the same pace, enhancing the ambiance and conversation," she said. "If you prefer fewer courses, consider selecting lighter or smaller dishes for the same number of courses as your companions." This way, she explained, everyone at the table remains engaged and the meal unfolds in a seamless and enjoyable manner.

Dining etiquette has been around longer than you think – and probably isn't going away anytime soon, so the next time you're at a fine dining restaurant, make sure you're prepared to order an extra course or two. You might want to eat a light lunch just in case, but it's also a great excuse to pore over the menu online before dinner.