Machine-Gun Bacon For All: What A Ted Cruz Presidency Could Mean For The Food World

Texas senator Ted Cruz is the winner of Iowa's Republican caucuses, the first primary stop on the road to earning the GOP nomination for U.S. president. Prior to his victory, Cruz made this salty promise to the people of the Hawkeye State: "If Heidi Cruz becomes the next first lady, French fries are coming back to the cafeteria." Cruz's comment was an obvious swipe at current First Lady Michelle Obama's efforts to make children's school lunches more nutritious.

What else do we know about Cruz's positions on food issues? Well, for one thing, the guy hates avocados: "I despise avocado. It's the only food I dislike, and I dislike it passionately," the senator has said. "Which is ironic, because I'm Cuban and my dad grew up with avocado trees in his backyard. My whole family eats avocados like crazy, but I can't stand them." Much like the French fry comment, Cruz's anti-avocado stance puts him in stark contrast to President Barack Obama, a self-described guacamole fanatic.

Oh, and how could we forget Cruz's interesting technique for cooking bacon? Back in August, the evangelical politico released the following video, which shows him wrapping strips of cured pork around the barrel of a gun and firing the weapon until the bacon achieved crispiness. Voilà! "Machine-gun bacon," Texas style. (MSNBC's Rachel Maddow pointed out that the firearm in the video is technically a rifle, not a machine gun, but we digress.)

Based on the current evidence, electing Cruz to the White House could be good news for the saturated fat lobby — heart-healthy unsaturated fats, not so much.